I used to be a singer. Singing – to perform – it’s not easy. It comes from within. You have to dig deep and give it your all. You have to expose yourself, the real you. Each song, each phrase, each word, is studied, memorized, internalized, and then shared. And people critique you. A lot. Especially when you’re doing it as a student; you have to sing in front of other students and other faculty and they have to give you feedback to help you improve. If your confidence isn’t there; wow; it can be painful. In fact it was so painful I quit. I needed something not quite so personal.

Fast forward to yesterday. Teaching in Second Life. The experience stimulated a conversation with a friend about virtual worlds. Why and how is it different than teaching in the real world? Is it different? I think the answer is no. And yes. I told my friend that I think the difference lies in the connection between the avatar and the user and the environment and content. We talked about context. Context is key. Esp in VWs. She told me yes, but that’s not saying much. I thought, “Huh? I just told you my belief and that’s not saying much?? ouch!”

Then she started asking me a series of questions about my own learning preferences. I am a visual and aural learner but suspect that the aural is simply a matter of lack of choice. I’m lectured to, and I like it because I can sit back and listen to ideas and assimilate them into what I know. Now that I have a pretty solid body of knowledge, I love making connections between concepts and sharing my ideas on those connections with others. But, really, that’s not saying much. She’s right.

Because what I don’t know, is the “who.” Who am I really, as a learner, without the constraints put upon me by formal education? No clue. Why not? Because I have refused to experiment. Any time an opporutnity to play with the tools has come along I hide behind “too busy.” Why? Fear. Fear of rejection, failure, lack of perfection. Wow. Big insight.

So now I have to figure that out. Who am I as a learner? AND, I have to STOP intellectualizing/analyzing everything that comes my way. I hold stuff out at a distance and say hmmmmmm what really intelligent and impressive comment can I make about that? It’s only on the occassion when I finally forget about doing that and personalize what I’m writing/talking about do I actually say something meaningful.

Back to singing – I think I’ve learned from this that no matter what I do – it has to come from within before it can truly mean something to me, or anyone else.

Learning who I am as a learner will make me “become” the teacher (instructional designer) I really want to be. Thanks Friend. :)