Silvertomorrow’s Weblog

My step-mother-in-law called today to say good-bye. She is dying of cancer. Slowly wasting away in her bed surrounded by Hospice workers and her doting husband. It was hands down one of the most difficult and heart-breaking conversations I have ever had. What a beautiful and wonderful person she is. She has had to face chemo four times and it was finally just too much. She can’t eat at all and drinks very little because of a tumor blocking her stomach. Yet she has lived on for the last 4.5 weeks. She and her husband have planned every aspect of the funeral, she has trained him all the duties that were hers, and now they spend each moment together, cherishing one another, and waiting.

She asked to speak to me. She’s been married to my husband’s father for fewer years than I have been married to my husband. We met maybe 5 times? A very sweet, intelligent, warm, giving woman who investigated and became a member of the LDS church and married Truman (father-in-law) in the temple. Truman told me today that her “testimony is strong and she knows where she is going.”  I”m happy for her. But I didn’t know what to say to her. I choked up. They described their time together; she told me that her loving husband was stroking her forehead and smiling at her and that she was so very blessed. I told her I wished I could be there with her. I couldn’t choke anymore out.

I wanted to tell her that she has been a rock to my husband and I, despite our distance. I wanted to reach out and hug her and hold her for a really long time. But all I could say was, ” I love you.” I hope it was enough.

I was turned down for what I thought was my dream job because:

“Although I’m sure you have varied interest in the field of Instructional Design, your sharp focus on Second Life is what we remember most about you.  Online role-play is an exciting field.  However, it is not in line with the current and future direction of the college.  …  This suggests to us that the position may not be a good fit for you.”

Wow – that was hard to hear! I thought that I had emphasized my instructional design experience, not the SL work. I mean, yeah, a lot of what I have done is IN SL, but it’s not ABOUT SL; it’s about effective design in an emerging technology where teaching and learning ARE different than RL; sometimes better, sometimes worse. The fun part is finding out when it’s which! Of course, there’s also the issue that NONE of my work has been in role-play, but that’s just a misconception that I don’t really care about clearing up. I thought about this all week, wondering what I could have done differently.

All of the work I have done in Second Life revolves around the pedagogy of effective design in an emerging technology. I am passionate about Second Life as a teaching tool in part because I believe it offers a sense of presence and social networks that would be extremely costly and difficult to replicate in real life. Also, because I believe in a future that holds a world wide web of virtual worlds and I love being part of the grass roots of such a vision. I have had numerous opportunities to practice my skills in instructional design; experience that I would never have had without SL. I’ve grown as a leader, as a designer and as a teacher. I’ve published papers and presented at conferences. My skills are honed, not limited, by my experience in this virtual world.

I think the lesson I take away from this interview is that I need to emphasize how my experience with design weaves throughout the technology I use and de-emphasize SL when I present myself.